Scene 1 Bettina : Heya ! I’m Bettina ! I’m so sad my father doesn’t love me , ya know ? He sent me away to a convent at such a young age ! *whines *
*Enter the father and mother *
Father : I’ve got someone for ya to marry . Pack soon and I’ll ship you off right away
Mother : ….
*walks out Bettina *
Bettina : They are planning to pack me and send me away to a man I’ve never seen . And ya know , that doesn’t BOTHER ME AT ALL . I’m a girl , I’m supposed to be packed off , right ??
*Enters the servant *
Servant : Ah , so they told you finally , eh ?
Bettina : You knew ? YOU FREAKIN’ KNEW ? Why didn’t you tell me ?
Servant : *shrugs * you would have found out anyway .
* Enters the mother *
Mother : Oh my ever beautiful daughter !
Harini : oh get on with it *rolls eyes *
Mother : *looks Harini’s way * Oh shut up ! * turns back * Oh my lovely lovely daughter ! I want you to know a huge secret !
Bettina : *wide eyes * HUGE ? Tell me now !
Mother : Ah..it’s just that ..ya know , your father isn’t really your father . The real father’s a sailor who never came back for me . I used to screw him after I got married because my husband was a real douche bag !
Bettina : *gasps * Oh really ? How ROMANTIC
Mother : Oh yeah . That was the best part of my life ! So , here’s the lesson . If you don’t love your hubby boy , just screw someone else ! That’s completely alright , ya know .
Harini : umm..what sort of mother are you ? Like seriously , woman ?
Bettina & Mother : *turn to glare at Harini *
Bettina : Oh , mother ! That’s the most wonderful advise I’ve ever got . I’m so happy you didn’t stay faithful !
*Walks out the mother *
Bettina : Oh my god , I’m a bastard ! Isn’t that the most wonderful thing ever ! *happy dance *
Harini : ….
After a hella lot of drama about going away from home
Bettina : Oh my ! Isn’t sea the most wonderful thing !
Captain whoever : Oh my pretty pretty lady ! Stay away from the eyes of the lusty crew ! Nobody knows what will happen to a gorgeous lady when on a ship full of men !
Harini : *rolls eyes *
captain walks away
Bettina : Oh , I don’t care what he says ! I’mma go out and do as I please !
A man no one cares for : Oh , yeah , pretty thing ! *catches her *
Bettina : *screams her head off *
Captain : Oh , You ! *shouts at his crew to whip the man then *
Bettina : Oh , no , don’t ! Why do you whip him ? Oh , no , stop !
*runs away *
Harini : *sighs and follows Bettina *
* The ship Bettina is on is captured for who the hell cares reason and then…
Tristan : Gotcha ! Now , take your clothes off so I can rape ya !
Bettina : Bah ! Don’t do that !
Tristan : Alright , let’s strike a deal , hun ? Let me rape ya and I’ll let the prisoners live ! That’s a hell of a deal right ?
Harini : *murderous glare* you ..!
Bettina : *ignores Harini * Oh , alright . I get to see what the ‘after marriage ‘ fuse is about sooner , right ?
After the crap happens
Bettina : Oh , yeah , we did it, hun ? Now , set them free ! I demand it !
Tristan : Urgh..yeah I’ll do it !
* Exits Tristan *
*Enters the servant *
Servant : Oh my lady ! How’s ya ?
Harini : Erm..aren’t you a captive ? How the heck are you here ?
Servant : Oh , ya know , they appointed me as their cook .
Harini : WTH ??
Bettina : Oh , ignore her . She doesn’t matter . But the important thing is he raped me
Harini :…You sold yourself ..??
Bettina : *glares at poor Harini * I would never ever ever steep so low ! I did the most honourable thing , my maid ! I gave my virtue away to save the lives of prisoners !
Servant : Prisoners ? What prisoners , girlie ??
Bettina : *waves * ah , the prisoners from our ship ofcourse . Who else would I save , silly woman . Go ask where they are and if they’re set free yet !
* Servant says there’s no prisoners after a while *
Bettina : Oh , how dare he ! I disliked him at first , but I hate him because he lied to me ! I’mma kill him !
Harini : …
*Enters Tristan , the great *
Bettina : *attacks *
Tristan : *faints *
*A load of crap*
Tristan : Lol . Now ya know what would happen if ya try to kill me , eh ? How cool’s that ?
Bettina : Oh , how I hate you ! Stay away from me !
Tristan : That’s not gonna happen , my dear little one ! I’ll whip you if you resist ! I hate forcing and I don’t wanna do it . But I can’t stay away from ya , right ?
Harini : You bloody rapist !
Bettina : *shivers seeing the flog * I’ll do it . But I’ll scream and cry and curse you !
Tristan : *chuckles because THAT is funny * Get used to it , honey . I’mma do it every day !
* A load of senseless lies and a failed escape attempt later *
Bettina : Oh , you ! You were supposed to take me to my would be ! You said you’ll do it . Don’t you have honour ?
Harini : You might wanna think of the fact that he attacked a freakin’ ship because someone told him of your BEAUTY ! He kidnapped ya , raped ..and honour … :3
Tristan : Shut up , Harini . Oh , and my dear Betty , I’m not done with you ! I’ll be keeping you around for a while , don’t you worry .
Bettina : I’ll run away !
*Bettina , the idiot actually manages to escape ! And another load of crap later *
Bettina : Oh , isn’t it nice to meet my fiance finally !
Fiance : Um..yeah , that . Temme , did that guy rape ya ?
Bettina : Oh yeah ! He raped me everyday ! And I’m not even blushing while of speaking about it ! That’s something , right ?
Fiance : Oh..I’m not gonna marry you now ! Be my mistress , honey . That’s the best thing I can offer for a ….
Bettina : *gasps in outrage * You..you ! You’re honourless too!!
Fiance : Lol , let’s speak of it later . But your dad’s dead lol . And your mother’s here . Tell you a secret ? I wanna get rid of her soon so I can make you my mistress !
*Bettina and Mother get kidnapped some time later by Tristan *
Mother : Oh ,my ! Bettina , that man’s handsome . You’ve got yourself a nice fella , huh ?
Bettina : …He raped me , MOTHER !
Mother : Oh , never mind . He looks like a guy who cares
Harini : WTH
Tristan : Yo new lady , get out please ! I’mma have some fun with your daughter here
Mother : Oh sure . Have fun !
Scene who the hell cares
*Another load of useless pointless episodes later*
Bettina : Oh my hero ! *hugs him *
Tristan : Now that I got you back , let’s get married !
Bettina : Oh , no . You don’t have to do it ! We can just live the way we are . And I just don’t care that our child will be called a BASTARD !
Tristan : I love you , you dumb girl . I’mma marry you now ! So shut up and have a HEA with me now !
Bettina : *with tears of HAPPINESS ” Oh , yes , mon amour ! That’s what I’d been waiting for !
Honestly , I just can’t , my people ! Seriously definitely absolutely , I just can’t ! Bettina was so dumb I felt like patting myself on the head because I was so intelligent . Who would want to read this ? I have loved a few JL romances in the past and I’m not even sure JL was the one who wrote this thing ! This isn’t even romance…it’s some sort of creepy thing that should be classified under a genre for it’s own !
Sorry for swearing so much . I’m not much of a swearer but I just couldn’t help it with this book