Author: Marissa Meyer
Theme: Re-telling (Queen of Hearts)
Long before she was the terror of Wonderland—the infamous Queen of Hearts—she was just a girl who wanted to fall in love.
Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland, and a favorite of the unmarried King of Hearts, but her interests lie elsewhere. A talented baker, all she wants is to open a shop with her best friend. But according to her mother, such a goal is unthinkable for the young woman who could be the next queen.
Then Cath meets Jest, the handsome and mysterious court joker. For the first time, she feels the pull of true attraction. At the risk of offending the king and infuriating her parents, she and Jest enter into an intense, secret courtship. Cath is determined to define her own destiny and fall in love on her terms. But in a land thriving with magic, madness, and monsters, fate has other plans.
In her first stand-alone teen novel, the New York Times-bestselling author dazzles us with a prequel to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
(Summary from Goodreads)
The Actual Review
I think I should start with the admission that I’ve never read Marissa Meyer before and from this experience, I likely will not again.
The story starts with insane amounts of baking and cakes. Literally. Cath is always baking, smelling cakes or is thinking about baking. Now I have nothing against food, especially when it is described as wonderfully as in this book, but there’s only so much of lemon tarts and macaroons that my poor hungry-for-action soul can take.
But food descriptions weren’t even the biggest let down that happened here. I don’t even like the original wonderland stories (yes, I’m an uncivilised heathen) but I was expecting the re-telling to enhance on the original. Which, I suppose, did happen because there was significantly less “crazy” in this book but it didn’t make sense. There was no flow and it felt so forced. Jester and Cath? They have no chemistry at all! None whatsoever. Jest on his own was cute but them together? Nooooooo!
So it goes like this: Cath is the most “desirable” girl in the Kingdom of Hearts and the King wants to marry her. But Cath wants to be a baker and doesn’t want to marry the king. Guess what she does about that? You got it right. NOTHING. She does absolutely nothing unless you count whining to be something.
1. Why did the King want to marry her? This is a legit question because she was so appalling when she was with him. Yes, the king is oblivious but I hated Cath for the way she behaved. You either tell the guy you don’t like him or you don’t whine about how simple minded he is. See? It’s simple.
2. Why did Jest like her? Yeah, why? She wasn’t even interesting. She of the “I’ll whine and hope something happens” is not interesting. (Not like other girls syndrome is high in this one)
3. The plot just doesn’t cut it. The Queen of Hearts is supposed to be crazy. Real crazy. This book’s end doesn’t explain that. I hated the pumpkin cake drama. I hate pumpkins. Also, don’t steal pumpkin form other people’s yards, Catherine! (See, I don’t make any sense. Neither does the plot)
4. I disliked the Hatter. I don’t even know why. He was just annoying as hell.
5. I dislike Catherine Pinkerton most of all (Pinkerton? Pinkerton?) . If somebody gives you a prophecy, you make sure you aren’t dumb enough to fulfil the stupid prophecy. And if you are dumb enough to do that, everything that happens is your fault. Not someone else’s.
The Jabberwock wasn’t even terrible. It just didn’t feel villain enough. Cath didn’t feel protagonist enough. Jest didn’t feel.. Well, Jest enough. Something is totally off about this book, I tell you.
So, after the audiobook ended, I just sat there thinking I should have DNF-ed it the way I wanted to, after the very first chapter.
Recommendation: I’ll leave you to decide for yourself.
An annoyed me.